Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Thinking Out Loud

I know it's a good two plus months away from Transgender Day Of Remembrance ceremonies but already I'm considering how to participate this year. It's more emotional for me because of all the transgender women murdered this year, at least the ones that have been reported.

I haven't felt this way since the second year I participated. At that time, I was wondering if I could handle it emotionally. Then I came to the conclusion that I needed to go. Of course I will attend TDOR this year. There's still three months left in 2015. How many more transgender women will be killed? 

Monday, August 31, 2015

Beyond Labels.

Yesterday the LGBTQI ministry, Beyond Labels, at church met to discuss the upcoming year. Last year the ministry branched out to the community and it has been very good. Two areas I'm interested in is social justice and education. I mentioned that I am interested sharing about transgender topics and what it is to e transgender. 

There is an LGBTQI population in my neighborhood. I have seen a few transgender folk, thought they are not always visible. We want them to know that there's a church which is open and affirming if they want to find a spiritual home. There's a another meeting coming up in few weeks so I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Candy Darling

Last night my wife and I watched the documentary Beautiful Darling: The Life and Times of Candy Darling, Andy Warhol "Superstar". It was an interesting look at Candy Darling, a transsexual woman who was part of Warhol's Factory, a collection of artists he filmed. Candy, born James Slattery, was born in 1944. I read her biography.

 My wife said that Candy reminded her of Marilyn Monroe. I saw here as a cross between '30s vixen Jean Harlow and Monroe, blonde siren of the 1950s and early 1960s. Candy believed that she could be a star and she did achieve that in some respects. When the 1970s rolled in Candy was tossed aside along with cohorts Jackie Curtis and Holly Woodlawn.  

I liked hearing Candy in her own voice in some of the scenes. I was in the service in the early seventies. Candy died March 21, 1974, two weeks after I got out of the army.  Her good friend Jeremiah Newton was executor of her belongings after Candy's death. Jeremiah was indeed a true friend. 

Beautiful Darling is a good documentary about the times and creative energy of the 1960s and early 1970s and the people who made it happen. Candy certainly did.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Genevieve's Gems

The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.

~Carl Rogers, Psychologist (1902-1987)

Wednesday, August 26, 2015


Mature love is composed and sustaining; a celebration of commitment, companionship, and trust.

~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The subject of companionship came up at my discussion group this past Monday. I'm fortunate that my spouse stayed together after coming out a decade ago. Sadly, this is not true for many transgender women. Dating can be difficult. Would a man want to date a transgender woman? Would she be asked on a second date if she revealed that she is trans? Is the transgender woman resigned to a life of loneliness?

I thought about this over the past couple of days and concluded that no one is resigned to a life of loneliness. I also believe men should NOT be ashamed of dating a transgender woman. We want a mate who will love and respect us as we are. We want to go to a movie, party, or just enjoy a quiet night watching TV. We want to enjoy and live our lives like everyone.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015



Rebecca Foust

                               letter to my transgender daughter
I made soup tonight, with cabbage, chard
and thyme picked outside our back door.
For this moment the room is warm and light,
and I can presume you safe somewhere.
I know the night lives inside you. I know grave,
sad errors were made, dividing you, and hiding
you from you inside. I know a girl like you
was knifed last week, another set aflame.
I know I lack the words, or all the words I say
are wrong. I know I’ll call and you won’t answer,
and still I’ll call. I want to tell you
you were loved with all I had, recklessly,
and with abandon, loved the way the cabbage
in my garden near-inverts itself, splayed
to catch each last ray of sun. And how
the feeling furling-in only makes the heart
more dense and green. Tonight it seems like
something one could bear.
Guess what, Dad and I finally figured out Pandora,
and after all those years of silence, our old music
fills the air. It fills the air, and somehow, here,
at this instant and for this instant only
—perhaps three bars—what I recall
equals all I feel, and I remember all the words.

Monday, August 24, 2015

Many Differing Viewpoints

As a transgender person the view of the world is much different. I see it from the male viewpoint having been born and socialized as a male. I now see life as it from a woman's point of view. The being hit on, the suggestive comments, and how women are viewed in a patriarchal society.

I also see society's viewpoints about transgender people with a more critical eye. Much of society's views from a lack of knowledge, ignorance, hated, and now having to deal with a topic that was once considered taboo in some circles. As a Christian I understand some of the views the church has and why it has them. Is this confusing? I don't believe so.

I feel that I can discuss this with many differing groups; fundamentalists, confused parents, school officials, lawmakers, colleges, civic groups and other groups. Being prepared for such events is very important. I spoke to an adult education class at church a couple of years back about what it is to be transgender. A young woman who had transitioned also spoke (I have not had GRS). Many eyes were opened and minds made clear.

Having several view points allows me to have empathy for those are fearful and afraid. I can also be an encouragement to my trans brothers and sisters because I have face some of the same things they have or are facing. As trans people we have the advantage of helping those who don't understand. We are people people who want the same things everyone has. This is not special rights this is humanity.